So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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