I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
