Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I could fuck to npr.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
