I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
