Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
