i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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