i can't believe i had my finger in that
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
