So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
