I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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