No stitches, just platelets and will power
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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