the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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