he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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