She is in my trunk
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
