I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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