I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize