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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life

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• (360): View more from Washington

  just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill

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• (518): View more from New York

  Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.

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