This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
