you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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