the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
