My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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