I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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