Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
