Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
