Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
