You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
