Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize