just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
