Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
