Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
