Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
