It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
