Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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