You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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