but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
