Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
