hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
