Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
