She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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