I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
