was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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