I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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