The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
