haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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