But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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