So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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