Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
