May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
