i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
