the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
ok first of all what the fuck
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
