I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
