If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
