just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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