Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
