he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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