Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
