white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
