is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
