She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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