Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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