Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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