Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So squirting runs in the family.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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